Four beads on a bracelet

Today begins lent. Or, well, I guess it was yesterday. But for me it's today. It was hard deciding what I needed to give up. I wanted something big enough to really impact my day to day routine. So I decided that I have two main issues that need to be addressed. 1.) I need to be present to the people around me. When I'm in the room, that's where my focus is. I give my all to whatever I am doing at the moment. 2.) I need to be less concerned with how other people see me. I need to let go of this insecurity that kills me. Hopefully this will lead to me being less judgmental as well. But I'm starting with my insecurity.
So, I'm giving up two things: TV and fashion.

Here's why: TV (particularly LOST) is addictive. I use it to comfort myself when I'm down, and it distracts me from my day to day life. After an episode all I want to do is watch another one. I have a LOST addiction. I'll admit it. I'm a LOST addict. (haha, pun, you get it "lost addict". Muwhahah) I want to be more present, so I'm taking away the major distraction. Sometimes I stay up to 2:00 in the morning watching LOST. How is that healthy? And of course, the next day I want to watch even more and I obsessively think about LOST all day. So I'm going to be more present.
I'm giving up fashion because of my image. I don't need to be concerned how I look to other people. I don't need to be affirmed that I'm a good person or that people like me. And most of all I don't need to be concerned with how sexy I am, because this is not the time for me. God will fill all holes that need to be filled, so I'm giving up fashion, giving up trying to fill them with something less than God.

Here's the rules.
1.) No Hulu.
2.) No shows or movies on youtube.
3.) If someone else initiates watching a movie or turning on the TV, movies are okay. It's best to leave if the TV's on. Use own discretion.
4.)For fashion, I'm only allowed to wear sweatshirts, t-shirts, or athletic sweaters.
5.) I will not use make-up, perfume, jewelry, or any other item to make myself feel more beautiful.
6.) I will avoid mirrors as much as possible. I know mirrors are everywhere, so "no mirrors" is not a hard, fast rule. It's guidelines.
7.) I will wear my bracelet at all times.

The bracelet is one that I made at Tutoring a long time ago. It has four beads. Two together and one on each side. The two together represent the two things I'm giving up. The two on the ends represent what I'm hoping to accomplish.

This is my Lent.
Megan

S.A.D. (singles awareness day)

So Valentines day has come and gone. Yet another year. I suppose I wouldn't really like having a boyfriend anyways. I have a hard enough time just having friends! I'm kind of a rotten one, really. I don't keep in touch and I don't call anyone. I don't know... I'm not sure if I'm scared of rejection or if I'm scared I won't like them. It's a strange situation to be in. Which ever way, though, I miss you Abby, and I'm glad to have you.

This is much more depressing than I meant it to be. I'm actually having a very good day! I watched LOST last night, slept in this morning, got up and showered, and here I am. We're going to make grilled sandwiches for lunch and eat a little picnic in the dining room. It's too cold to eat outside. And we're having pinto beans for dinner. I LOVE pinto beans. There cooking in the crock pot and I can smell them. Mmmm....

What's with me and food? I guess it makes me happy...
Megan

P.S. I've already eaten the 7oz. Hershey kiss I got for valentines day. All 7 ounces.

Moments...

How is it that just sitting in a room with the lights turned down in the evening can be so pleasant? Maybe it's just that I'm used to being at home at night. I don't have much of anywhere to go. Maybe it's being with my parents, people who love me unconditionally and are so much more wise than I'll ever be. Maybe it's the peace after a day used well. Maybe it's the peace with who I am, finally enjoying being me. Whatever the cause, it's a wonderful thing to sit silently in the room with other human beings, loving them, being loved, all doing our own thing or something together -it doesn't matter. Sharing time is invaluable. It's something to be treasured.

Megan

A flair for the dramatic

New background. I'm not going gothic or anything, I just think it's dramatic. I like dramatic colors. But not drama. I can't stand drama (not drama as in theater, you understand. Drama as in extremes and arguments). It seems there's been a bit of drama around here lately. It's probably all in my head, but I am so ready to escape. Not in the sense that I'm bored with where I'm at, but in the sense that my life is at a turning point and I wish it would go ahead and turn instead of stalling on the point. I would be fine to stay where I'm at or go where I'm going, I just hate this in-between junk.

Best wishes
Meg

Okay...

What a lovely stretch of time I've not been posting!
No. Actually, it's not lovely at all. It's actually quite ugly. You know me, guys, I can't write. And I'm reeeeally bad at long distance relationships. I'm sorry.... I do love you Abby. I just have a mental block when it comes to phone conversations. I feel really out of touch.... so here I go to patch up my awful absence.
I'm afraid my life hasn't been anywhere close to as exciting as Lauren's is. But, hey, that's probably a good thing. I like steady. I'm a steady kind of person. I'm steadily falling in love with Lost. Seriously, it's taking over my brain. What the heck is up with the polar bears? What happens if they don't push the button? WHO ARE THE "OTHERS"?! Holy cow, I'm obsessed.
Other than that, I've come to the realization that I don't hate people, I'm just not very social. I don't mind people now and then. I hate Calculus. I think I want to major in Chemistry. I want to go to Wheaton College (I think). I can beat procrastination (barely. stupid Lost.) I want to learn to drive a stick-shift. I love old books so much I steal them from my dad's office. And I'm officially done with harp. I'm selling my harp. Hard decision, but I think it's a good one.

Sorry it takes me so long to post,
Megan